(Me laughing)
Rylee: what are you laughing at, weirdo?
Me: Rylee, will you please go get Reagan out of her crib?
Rylee: but I'm not strong yet!
Rylee: I'm going to have a pink car tomorrow and then Reagan can have my bike.
The Funny Shit My Kids Say
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Long overdue
bunch of funny things I saved on notes.
Reagan just climbed on top of Rylee and Rylee goes "daddy help!! She's on my nuts!"
"Dad, you're the best guy I've ever seen."
Me: Rylee do you wanna cuddle?
Rylee: no thanks
Well, at least she's polite in her rejection
Rylee is currently throwing a tantrum because, "mom I don't want you to go poop"
Rylee: "is mommy coming home from work now?"
Nick: "no, not till later"
Rylee: "ugh! Are you kidding me man?"
Rylee: "Mom, you have very dirty boobs." WTF
Rylee told me not to poop in the shower. Thanks for the tip 👍🏼
Rylee saw this older woman who had serious rbf and goes "ooh that lady is angry"
Rylee: what's your favorite path mom?
Me: huh? My favorite path?
Rylee: yep
Me: is this an existential question?
Rylee: uh huh
Me: the path less traveled I guess
Rylee: mom, don't talk to me EVER AGAIN
Rylee: mom, you're so pretty! You look like rapunzel!
Rylee: I'm pooping a lot just like daddy do.
Rylee: mom, are you pooping well? Do you need me to help you wipe your bum?
Me: you can in about 75 years
Rylee: I don't like these Jammie's because the top and bottom don't MATCH
Also worth mentioning that Rylee now refers to herself exclusively as Elsa and Reagan as Anna and will correct you if you don't get it right
Reagan just climbed on top of Rylee and Rylee goes "daddy help!! She's on my nuts!"
"Dad, you're the best guy I've ever seen."
Me: Rylee do you wanna cuddle?
Rylee: no thanks
Well, at least she's polite in her rejection
Rylee is currently throwing a tantrum because, "mom I don't want you to go poop"
Rylee: "is mommy coming home from work now?"
Nick: "no, not till later"
Rylee: "ugh! Are you kidding me man?"
Rylee: "Mom, you have very dirty boobs." WTF
Rylee told me not to poop in the shower. Thanks for the tip 👍🏼
Rylee saw this older woman who had serious rbf and goes "ooh that lady is angry"
Rylee: what's your favorite path mom?
Me: huh? My favorite path?
Rylee: yep
Me: is this an existential question?
Rylee: uh huh
Me: the path less traveled I guess
Rylee: mom, don't talk to me EVER AGAIN
Rylee: mom, you're so pretty! You look like rapunzel!
Rylee: I'm pooping a lot just like daddy do.
Rylee: mom, are you pooping well? Do you need me to help you wipe your bum?
Me: you can in about 75 years
Rylee: I don't like these Jammie's because the top and bottom don't MATCH
Also worth mentioning that Rylee now refers to herself exclusively as Elsa and Reagan as Anna and will correct you if you don't get it right
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Save me
Me: Rylee, did you go poo poos?
Rylee: oh yeah
Also along the lines of potty humor..
A few nights ago Rylee tooted while on the Nathan. She laughed hysterically and then declares "water toot!"
Rylee: oh yeah
Also along the lines of potty humor..
A few nights ago Rylee tooted while on the Nathan. She laughed hysterically and then declares "water toot!"
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Adorable
Lynette watched the kids while Nick and I hiked Mount Olympus. While we were gone, Rylee had the following conversation with Lynette.
Rylee: I'm sad.
Lynette: Why are you sad?
Rylee: I miss my mom and dad. I love them.
Awwwwwee *heart melts all over the floor*
Rylee: I'm sad.
Lynette: Why are you sad?
Rylee: I miss my mom and dad. I love them.
Awwwwwee *heart melts all over the floor*
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Thursday, August 18, 2016
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